Edited by- Sanyam Garg
Sometimes, you lose. You lose your mind, you lose your body, you lose your soul. Sometimes, you lose yourself. And it is hard. It’s hard to stay afloat, especially when it’s so easy to drown. It’s hard to stay sane, when you’re surrounded by insanity. It’s hard to hold on, when everything else is falling. Because all you have to do, is let go.
And you’re lost. You’ve lost.
But maybe, sometimes, for some inconceivable reason, you hold on.
Against all odds, you’re still standing. You’ve not given in to the voices in your head. Heavy waves are hitting, but you’re still standing. You may be drenched, shivering and weak, but you’re still standing. You’ve been striped down, beaten and bruised. But you’re still standing. You’ve made it through the storm. This was possible, because you tried. You’ve made the incredible choice of trying; trying to fight it.
Fight the shadows that follow your thoughts. Fight the shadows that follow you. Fight the darkness that clouds your emotions. Fight the pain, recovery may require. Fight for yourself. Fight to be yourself.
The struggle is real, and it’s not pretty. It is ridiculously ugly and unsurprisingly hard. The heaviness you are feeling won’t go away. The noise in your head won’t quiet down. That sad, slow melody is playing on repeat. Never ending, never changing. The journey to the other side is not smooth. In fact, it is one of the hardest journeys you will ever go on. It will be hard, dark and lonely. It will be full of emotions you’ve never felt before. Sights you’ve never seen. Thoughts you’ve never had. It may not seem worth it. But trust me, it is.
As you edge towards the end, the heaviness starts to slip away. The noise disappears. Your melody is now in tune. You feel better. But like I said, it’s not easy. Now has come the time to face those demons inside. Show them that you are better than they think. Don’t give in to them. Give them away. Push them away. No longer will they tempt you to not be you.
I know. There are times when you can’t even imagine being yourself again. Maybe she’s lost forever? Maybe she is there. But even she wasn’t perfect. She was imperfect in her own way. And so are you. She may seem like a stranger now, but that’s okay. Even strangers can be your inspiration. Look up to her, but don’t live up to her. You can’t possibly, because she was naïve and inexperienced. She hadn’t felt pain, and she hadn’t been hurt. She doesn’t know what it feels like to be lost. She doesn’t understand yet. She doesn’t know what it feels like to go in so deep, you can’t see the surface anymore. She doesn’t know what it feels like to have parts of you ripped away. She doesn’t know what it feels like to truly, and unconditionally, feel. She didn’t have to.
But you do. And you did. Now, you are wiser. You are smarter. You are so much stronger than she ever was. Be that someone the old you would look up to. Because now, you have the ability to. You have the power to. You have the potential to.
Let yourself be healed. Let yourself be loved. Let yourself be found. We’re still holding on. And this time, we’re holding on a little tighter.