"Granules Of My Soul"

On the 28th of March, I go back to the same spot on the beach where I had carved the letters of my name on the granular sand particles a year back, only to find that it had been washed away by the strong and gusty ocean currents, which managed to form humungous waves and destroy my only sketch. Not being able to see my drawing, left me devastated because I began pondering over my life with all but optimistic thoughts.

What if one day I leave this world and get washed away or rather consumed with a fatal disease or a heart attack? Will people remember me? Will people remember my personality and my favorite food or worse nightmare? Will my well-wishers or at least the ones who I thought were my well wishers be able to spot the tiny difference I made to try and change the world in the minutest way I possibly could? Or would my presence lose meaning once I die just like the sketch that was not even a millimeter of the vast ocean?

Then the very next minute, I ask myself, why do I want to be remembered? Why do I want people to know my favorite dessert when I wont even be there to eat it? Why do I want the change I put years into, to be known when we curse all the famous and extra ordinary people in our history books for existing. I am trying to imply how we are averse and extremely unenthusiastic when it comes to remembering the name of the person who started their respective movements and belonged to which tribe, caste and so on and so forth. It is awfully exhausting for most people when our state boards expect us to do so.

From the above statements my inner conflict seems to be strikingly evident, I believe. However, the only thing that helped me resolve this battle inside the numerous cells in my body was when I found a deeper meaning in my life and understood myself better or rather understood my place in the universe. I soon found the purpose of my life when I realized that I live for myself and I live to do the very best I can do to make myself happy and not to make anyone else happy. After all, others may facilitate my happiness but they cannot control it. If my happiness lies in others appreciating what I do then I will never be satisfied. On the other hand, if I judge and evaluate my potential and see if my actions have matched up to my capability, the happiness will be tremendous.

In conclusion, all I would want to put forward is, we are all pieces of dust that are going to fly away one day but while we are here, we can and we must make a difference. Never let the fear of dying or not being remembered after death overpower the talent that you’ve been gifted with, because you are born for a reason and you must fulfill it. At the end of the day, we all without exceptions, have an expiry date just like any edible item and are going to die. However, that’s a process of life that cannot be changed and hence we must accept and embrace that after we are gone the world is going to move on, but we will always be a part of the world, no matter how small.