My Escape from Sanity

Anyone who knows me well, would say she's going through one of those "Rhea Moments" and term it as my "mad mood". When life pins me down and I have so much on my plate that I don't know where to start from, I usually need a pep talk with my mirror because procrastination does little to get me back on track. However, my mirror isn't there with me at unpredicted times and at certain corners where life plans to challenge me, leaving me with no option but to enter my "mad mood" phase.

Believe me, it is as crazy as it sounds! While I'm at it, I laugh like a pig probably drooling while doing so, make random squeaks and shrills, lie down on any goddamned floor and release endorphins, enact those famous television advertisements and movie dialogues, dance in the most unfashionable manner and let myself so lose that explaining it in words would kill all the fun. Basically, my mad mood is my escape from sanity. And trust me, I enjoy every second of acting like a 5 year old who doesn't care if someone is watching or not.

Initially, not many accepted this side to me. I was told, I needed to behave "properly" and not act so "kiddish" because I'm 17 now. They thought that my mad mood signified "immaturity" and I needed to control my laughter because I made a "joke of myself" For way too long, I thought to myself and wondered - is it only me? Or does everyone have a monkey inside them that they try to hide, too afraid to be judged by society because to be honest, the child in us never really dies! I thought to myself, how does my mad mood equal immaturity? At least I don't take to drinking, drugs and other relatively unsafe measures that is the resort for many, when the going gets tough. . I thought to myself laughing is a happy sound and out of all the things in the world one shouldn't be embarrassed by their happy sound! I thought to myself that how do I make a joke of myself? At least in that moment, I take life lightly and laugh at myself. How many of us can actually laugh at ourselves?

What's the point of taking life so seriously when no one gets out alive, and most importantly, I asked myself - if I can't do things that make me happy, why am I living? Am I living to satisfy others’ expectations of me? What sense does it make, to allow strangers to dictate how I am to live? If this makes me happy then why shouldn't I have the right to do it? When I reasoned out with myself, I realised that I didn't want to trade this "mad mood" for anything in this world, because it brings out a side to me that shuts down everything for a while, right from my problems to people's judgemental statements. And this is when, I resolved my inner conflict and starting living for myself paying no heed to what others thought of me.

Edited By - Diya Mathew

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