Everything comes to an end. All good and bad things have an end, a completion, a conclusion. In this mortal world, nothing is permanent, and nothing will ever be. I was 12 when I came across this reality. My best friend had to leave our school as her dad had got transferred to another city. The vivid details of her last day at school is still fresh in my mind and till date, it is one of the most important days of my life. That day, I realised how hollow a human relation is. No matter how hard we strive to strengthen it, it will break, drown, go down the drain. No matter how strong is the connection, it will be hindered either because of distance, time or space. Eventually, you will forget the memories of the beautiful moments spent together – the first time you guys laughed together so hard letting the tears flow and the stomach ache, the first time you realised how beautiful a person she is, when she let go of her food to feed you, the first time when you saw her break down and felt a shot of pain in your heart, realising how much she means to you or the time you saw her angry, cursing and loved her in spite of everything, the moment when you felt like crap, and she smiled at you and gave you a hug and the world became a beautiful place again, the lazy day that was spent sleeping all day and the night that seemed endless, burnt out by serious conversations. All these moments will take the shape of long forgotten memories, initially you will remember the details of everything clearly and then, as the clock ticks and the pages of the calendar are flipped, your ability to hold all these precious flashes will decrease. It will start as a small blur and then it will increase, first gradually and then rapidly and will take a form of a big black dot covering the entire area, all the loops, and even if you don’t want to, it will spread and cover all the corners, nothing will be spared.
Then, a name, a smell, a colour or probably a cuisine will dip you through the oceans of deja vu. A familiar feeling will make your mind struggle to remember something, and then you probably might, on thinking harder, reach out and recall the occasion, but the black spot of man’s forgetfulness will block it, giving out a feeling of helplessness and hence, nostalgia will prevail.
It is believed that when a human being is about to die, just prior seconds to his death, his entire life is played in front of his eyes as a flash back. And that would be the last time when you will see yourself in that time again, for less than a second. But nothing will matter then because of two reasons; one, your departure from this world will be happening right after your next and final blink of the eye, so you will have other things to be worried about; and two, even if you want to, you won’t be able to change anything, or go back in the past as nothing will be under your control, like always. Hence, when we are told to live in the present, we never take it seriously. We first take two steps ahead, into the future and worry about what's going to happen and then we take one step back, thinking about the past, “what could have happened if..” and we worry even more. Never fully accepting the fact that present is the only minute, hour, moment that we truly have with ourselves, we keep wandering between the two extremes, trying to find comfort. And as a result we fail.
Life is too short to worry about things we cannot control. The end is inevitable. It will come to pass. Life is too long to hold on to detailed memories, as their demise is also inevitable. However, finding a balance somewhere in between is possible. So live, laugh, love, hold on to things till the time you can and then let them go.
EDITED BY - DIYA MATHEW