Edited by- Aruna Nidamarthy
Thinking of everything that happened this year. Who would have thought that one year could mean so much? This year helped me gain perspective. This year gave me opportunities that I could have never imagine grabbing on to. It put me in positions I could have never dreamed of. New feelings, new people, new goodbyes. Surprisingly positive, uncomfortably negative. This year was an experience on its own.
I’ve never seen so much growth in myself. The last 365 days I’ve pushed myself harder than I’ve ever done before. It was all positive ambition until it turned into something much darker. I learnt that not all pushing is done in the right path. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved but most importantly, I’m proud of what I didn’t achieve. Because despite all odds, I stood my ground and said stop. In this growth process, I’ve gained a lot of knowledge about myself. I’ve never understood myself better. So in the end, I think the ups and downs were worth this incredible discovery.
This year, I fell. Harder than ever before. When you’re up higher, the fall is more dangerous. I’ve learnt my limits. I’ve tested different types of waters and I know that not everything is safe to sail. The fall has helped my learn to pick myself up. It has taught me to prioritize better. It has taught me to prioritize myself.
I’m content. I’d like to think that I have no regrets. Everyday has posed some kind of challenge and every challenge has forced me into newer spaces. I’m more aware than I ever was. Less naive. I wouldn’t want to change anything that happened this year. If anything, I would wish I could have just told myself one year ago that I’m proud. I’m proud of myself.
To me, it’s just another day. Another shot at life. But I’m surrounded by so much hope. Hope that things will change. Hope that life will be better. Hope that this is our new beginning. Is hope contagious? Because I find myself almost fitting in with the same kind of feeling.
Here goes nothing.
[artwork by Hajin Bae]