No Good in Goodbyes

Will they miss me?

I ask myself.

I see the photos

And the beautiful memories on the shelf,

The hardest goodbyes I ever said,

Were between the lines that were never read.

I hold back my tears while I hug my mother tight,

Looking at her with my eyes full of fright,

She just smiles and tells me,

Everything will be alright.

For a second, I believe her words to be true,

But then I realize,

Its just an illusion for her, me, and you.

My little brother, lost in his thoughts,

He has no clue of what’s really going on.

Taking my hand in his,

He reminds me of all the jokes we’ve made,

And the games we’ve played.

He asks me if I would’ve stayed,

Had he not eaten that last piece of chocolate cake.

Oh my little brother, so innocent at heart

That he doesn’t know,

This is my only chance at a happy start.

My dad is always so happy and strong

But now, when I am leaving home,

His concerned face,

Makes me wonder if I’m wrong.

Although the pain of my leaving is more than he can take,

He holds me tight and whispers,

Darling go live the life you want to make.

My suitcases packed and ticket booked,

I go to my room just to remind myself of how it looks.

With a heavy heart and a chaotic mind,

I close the door that lies behind.

Not ready for a new beginning

In a strange big city where my name isn’t known,

Will they miss me?

I ask myself

Because I can’t seem to leave this place I call home.